Play Therapy is a method that offers significant help for childhood issues and problems including: peer interactions, separation anxiety, difficulties reading social cues, toilet training, withdrawn behavior, school misbehavior, inattention, impulsivity and aggression, playing in an age appropriate way, separation and divorce as well as various trauma experiences. Play-Family Therapy can also be used preventively when parents feel that the situation may decline without attention to a particular concern.
In our opinion, all children ages 3-11 can benefit from play therapy. Play therapy is designed to be fun! From a child’s perspective, he or she gets to play with sand, a doll house, stuffed animals, toy soldiers, draw and have the undivided attention of a supportive and safe adult. Play is one way children make sense of their worlds. Children are constantly acting out their worlds and making their own particular changes as they see fit. For instance it is common for children to play cops and robbers, pretend to be a mommy feeding her child, act out what it is like to go to work, give punishments for not following rules of a certain game, pretend to be a doctor fixing a broken leg or even pretend to be a cat, drinking milk from a bowl. Play therapy builds on children’s natural skills and tendencies, and through gentle guidance helps children gain control over their feelings and how they express themselves. Typically children cannot control their environment, only how they react to their environment. Helping children with decision making skills about how to react to their environment is a fundamental goal of play therapy. In addition to working closely with the child, the play therapist will work closely with the parents to develop strategies to best support the child at home. An extra set of eyes can be useful in helping parents step back and evaluate if their parenting style works with their child’s particular needs. It is important to realize that not all parenting strategies work for all children.
Just like we believe all children could benefit from play therapy, we believe all parents of children can benefit from extra guidance in how to be the best parent that they can be for their child. To help you determine if play therapy is right for you and your family, we have developed a basic guideline / checklists. These checklists ask you to consider recent life events data that your child is reporting directly to you, your own observations of your child and feedback you have received from other important people about your child.
Sometimes children are able to verbalize that they are struggling or need help. Other times children do not have the language, do not know how to ask for help, or help is available. Keep in mind that children ages 3-6 may not have the verbal skills to give you specific feedback. Pay attention to if a child this age simply isn’t progressing the way his or her peers are, or they say things that are unsettling. If you check one or more statements it is possible that your child is attempting to tell you that they need help.
Change is a continuous and permanent part of life. Sometimes abrupt change or significant changes can be difficult for children to cope with or adjust to. Unlike adults, children do not always have a framework to make sense of their experiences, let alone have the language to express their feelings. Furthermore they may not have developed the coping skills necessary to deal with these changes. Review the statements below. If you check one or more of the events below, this simply means that there has been a significant life event for your child that they might need help with. The other checklists will help you determine if your child is struggling with one of these major life events, or perhaps another issue entirely.
My child has recently experienced…
Because your child probably spends significant amounts of time in the presence of adults other than yourself, like at school, at a babysitters, or a relatives, other adults may have valuable feedback about your child. It is possible that for various reasons either you have not picked up on the issue or your child is not engaging in the particular behaviors around you. Review the statements below and check off any relevant ones.
Other important people in my child’s life (teachers, coaches, relatives) have told me that my child…
Take at least thirty minutes to reflect on the checklists. If you have a supportive partner, share the checklists with them and see if they have any additions or a different perspective. If you have any of the major life events checked off, you should strongly consider play therapy for your child. Play therapy is critical in cases where children have been raised in chaotic families or have experienced severe trauma. Play therapy is also critical to help children cope with major life events such as divorce or death. In these situations parents are usually going through so much of their own pain and grief that it is beneficial to have another person be able to support the child. If you did not have any major life events checked off, but felt concerned about some of the other statements you checked off in the other checklists, take some time to think about whether you would like to use play therapy to address this particular issue. Remember, play therapy is a way for children to work out their issues in a safe, structured environment. It also helps parents adjust their parenting styles to better meet the specific needs for their child. Play therapy is a great tool to engage younger children. Traditional talk therapy is simply too advanced. Remember, kids are like sponges, they acquire new skills quickly. Sometimes a little intervention can reset a kid onto a much healthier path.
It is very important to consider your own observations of your child. Parents typically have a sixth sense about their children. Often they know when something is off, even before a professional does. You know your child best. With that being said, examine the checklist below of things to look out for. Check any relevant statements.
I have observed that my child…
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