Facing rejection is a hard thing to do. When we face rejection, we try to deal with the rejection as quickly and painlessly as possible. There are small rejections we face every day – the bus driver driving away when you arrive at the bus stop just as he closes the door or the waitress who says you cannot substitute the French fries with onion rings. These are small rejections! Small rejections are not as difficult to deal with as bigger rejections that truly disappoint us - the person you went on a date with does not text you back, the job interviewer does not offer you a position, the project proposal you’ve been working so hard on gets rejected at the weekly meeting. Rejection sucks! It can make us huff and puff during a commute or make us feel outright worthless.
This article is for people who are having trouble facing the small rejections that occur on a daily basis.
Reaching out to another human being means that there is a chance that rejection will be coming your way. Many people live their lives with desires they do not pursue out of fear of rejection.
A useful approach that stems from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), is to focus on changing ones internal dialogues about ones past and future. Frequently, your thoughts about rejection are causing you distress. Instead, try to shift the way you look at rejection.
1. Rejection is a chance for feedback.
Rejection is a chance for feedback that will get you closer to your desires. There is a saying that “Diamonds require pressure.” When you are living your life with passion and ambition, the pressure and challenges you will come across in your path are what will make you closer to diamond status. Rejection and feedback together can give you a new perspective and a new lens you might not have been able to see. Feedback may provide you with links to resources and next steps so you can know what else you can do to improve your work, relationships, and interpersonal skills. It is important though to remember that one person’s opinion does not define you and may not even be an education opinion.
Often times, feedback that is hard to hear accompanies rejection. Maybe the rejection comes without explanation. Do you have the courage to ask for feedback? If you get feedback, what does it mean to you? What are things you want to take away from the feedback and improve upon? What are things in the feedback that do not make sense to you or that you disagree with?
2. Rejection is a reflection of your desires and your courage to pursue them.
You put yourself on the line for something you desire and you have been rejected.
Congratulations.
Yes, congratulations! You went after what you wanted (that’s not something everyone can say) and you are now in a situation where you can learn.
When you genuinely want something, you’re willing to go through a lot to make it happen. When you submit a poem to a literary magazine, apply for a job, or agree to be interviewed for a potential job – you are playing with the fire of rejection; you might get burned. If you get burned but you still want to play with that fire, you know that this thing, person, or relationship really matters to you.
3.Rejection isn’t a free pass for self-criticism.
Your self-esteem has taken a hit. Criticizing yourself after facing rejection seems inevitable, but it is not! And it is a sure way to make yourself feel miserable. Reviewing what happened and considering what you should do differently in the future is a great idea, but there is absolutely no good reason to be mean and self-critical while doing so. Thinking, “I should probably choose another song next time I have an audition,” is the start of moving forward. Thinking, “I’m such a loser!” is not.
4.Rejection is usually not personal.
During the painful aftermath of rejection, it is easy to assume the rejection is personal. That is not necessarily true! Most rejections, whether professional, social, and even romantic, are due to fit and the circumstance. The person who rejected you may consider you a wonderful person that would do a great job at being an employee, partner, or friend. Ruthlessly taking inventory of your deficiencies and flaws in an effort to understand why you were rejected is unnecessary and inaccurate.
If you have trouble facing rejection and moving forward, building up the courage to pursue your goals, or have issues with your self-esteem, consider scheduling a therapy session at The Center for Growth Inc. You can self schedule an in-person or virtual therapy session at the Center for Growth by calling (215) 922- LOVE (5683) x 100.
Our Guarantee: If after your first session you are not sold that you are working with the right therapist, do not hesitate to call our intake line at 215 922 5683 x 100 or Alex at (267) 324-9564 and ask to be rescheduled with another therapist. The choice of how you want to proceed is yours. Our only goal is to support you in becoming the best you possible.
For your convenience, we have brick and mortar offices and work with clients virtually in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.
Physical Therapy Office Locations:
Ocean City Therapy Office 360 West Ave, Floor 1, Ocean City, NJ 08226
Mechanicsville Therapy Office 9044 Mann Drive, Mechanicsville Virginia, 23116
Society Hill Therapy Office 233 S. 6th Street, C-33, Philadelphia PA 19106
Art Museum / Fairmount Therapy Office 2401 Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 1a2, Philadelphia PA 19130
Providence Therapy Office 173 Waterman St. Providence, RI 02906
Fayetteville Therapy Office 101 Devant Street #606, Fayetteville GA 30214
Santa Fe Therapy Office, 2204 B Brothers Road, Santa Fe, New Mexico, 87505
Telemedicine Therapy Locations: We have therapists who are licensed to work in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania and Virginia and Pennsylvania
Therapy Services Offered in Fayetteville, Ocean City, Mechanicsville, Philadelphia, Providence, Santa Fe:
Individual Counseling and therapy
Couples Counseling and marriage counseling
Teen Therapy and Adolescent Therapy and tweens and child counseling
Family Therapy and multi-generational counseling
Art Therapy and Counseling no art skills needed
ADHD Therapy and ADD, Dyslexia, Autism, Tourettes counseling
Anxiety, Panic, OCD Therapy and worry and fear support
Breaking the cycle of Codependency and being your own person
Overcoming Chronic Illness and Chronic Pain .
Depression Therapy and sadness, gloom, and upset support
Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) Therapy is a particular style of therapy designed for people with problems affecting their nervous system, how the brain and body send and receive signals.
Grief Therapy and loss, End of A Relationship, rejections, pregnancy and loss and therapy
Mindfulness Based Therapy and spirituality based therapy
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery child of, parent of, spouse of, sibling of a narcissist.
Sex Therapy and sexual function & dysfunction, sex addiction, sexual orientation and gender identity support
Trauma Therapy both emotional and sexual abuse, complex trauma, PTSD counseling
Divorce support
Affairs, Infidelity, Unfaithful, Cheating counseling
Parenting therapy
Personality disorder treatments Narcissist, Borderline, Histrionic
Setting Boundaries and identifying ones own Core Beliefs
Just name some of the Mental Health issues that we work with. Our goal is to help you Change and Achieve Your Dreams
