Asking for Help

Asking For Help: Therapy in Philadelphia, Ocean City, Mechanicsville, Santa Fe

Asking for help may seem easy for some and difficult for others. Usually it is not asking for help itself that is the issue, but the meaning or beliefs you may assign to such actions. Common physical, life-threatening scenarios such as yelling from a burning building for a rescue or falling off a boat and flailing in deep ocean water make asking for help feel justified. However, when it comes to needing emotional help, a mindset could prevail that can be self-defeating instead of leading to the benefits that asking for help has to offer.

There are many factors that could interfere with a person’s willingness to ask for help depending on how you were raised or even the culture that you grew up in. Below are some common beliefs that serve as barriers to asking for help and can potentially keep you feeling stuck:

“Asking for help means that I am a weak person.” This is a common thought pattern where self-reliance is expected implying that there is something fundamentally wrong with you if you enlist the assistance of another person for emotionally-based reasons. This belief can keep you isolated and negatively impact your self-esteem because realistically we do not always have all the resources needed to solve certain problems on our own, thereby preventing us from moving forward.
“In my family, we do not talk about problems outside of the house.” This is a tricky one because in some cultures, this is a very real expectation where talking about issues outside of the house is perceived as being disloyal to the family. However, if you feel you are not getting the support you need from your family, and want to do something more to help yourself, then seeking outside help may be necessary. Remember that a trusted friend and therapist can offer objective feedback and this does not mean you are going against your family values, only adding on to it in order to find the emotional relief that you deserve.
“I don’t want to become dependent on someone [i.e. therapist, friend] to always help me.” While this is a respectable position and makes good sense, seeking help from other people for a specific issue does not mean you are not capable of helping yourself in other areas of your life. In fact, a good therapist or friend will help you help yourself as no one can do the work for you. As a result, utilizing the help that is offered to you can empower you to help yourself the next time that issue arises.
“If I get help outside of my relationship, then my partner may think I do not trust them.” Depending on the kind of help you are getting, seeking assistance outside of your relationship can help more because a therapist or friend can see your issue through a more unbiased lens compared to your significant other who may be equally affected by the solutions you choose to solve your problem.
“I do not have the time to talk to someone.” This could be a friend, a mentor, a clergy person or therapist. When it comes to professional help, a lot of folks put it off because of not only having limited time, but a shortage of money also. Although there could be a lot of truth to this, it is important to be honest with yourself by contemplating how much time and money was spent on the problem. For example, if your issue is a type of compulsivity, the amount of time and money spent on the compulsive behavior likely exceeds the cost and time investment that is needed to help you recover from it. When it comes to not having the time, it is important to also consider the potential emotional and health consequences that could emerge if you do not get the help that you need in an earlier time-frame. In other words, an investment in time and money now, could save you time and money later if your problems get worse.

Below is a new framework that I offer to you if asking for help causes more stress than the problem itself. What if you changed the word “help” to “support?” This may seem like a small adjustment, but the self-defeating interpretation changes when you are open to changing your beliefs about how you see assistance from others. What was once thought of as a helpless, needy act (asking for help) could now become conceptualized more collaboratively and with a greater level of integrity (asking for support). I will further demonstrate this new mindset in the following exercise.

Take out a sheet of paper and place it on its horizontal side. Across the middle of the paper, list about 3-4 problem areas you are currently facing and/or the name of at least one person involved. For example, you may need help with walking your dog while you are away or need advice on how to manage an emotional problem. Then under each issue, put the name of at least one person who you believe can help you with that problem. Next, put a stick figure or the word ME underneath your horizontal list to represent yourself. Then draw downward arrows from each problem area, pointing at yourself, as if to illustrate how you may feel below the problem. As you can see, it can feel intimidating asking for help from a lot of different people, especially when a bunch of arrows from the various problems are being pointed downward at you and appear as though you are in a lower position. It could also seem as though a lot of negative attention is being brought on to you that could very easily discourage you from asking for help if you are viewing it this way.

Now draw the same diagram, but instead of putting yourself below the problems, write ME (or a stick figure representing yourself) above them with downward arrows from yourself toward each of the problems listed. Also, replace the word help with support in your mind when looking at the second diagram. For example, I need support with an emotional problem or support with walking my dog. When replacing the beliefs from “help” to “support,” the same problematic barriers can occur, but with a more empowering, solution-focused feel. The arrows in your second diagram represent columns of support rather than perceived metaphorical lifelines that could foster a negative association about asking for help. In addition to the diagrams, write down your answers to the following questions:

How does it feel to me if I were to think of asking for help as asking for support? How, if at all, do the two mindsets feel similar to you or different?
What are the advantages to asking for help/support?
How do you see asking for help/support as having a negative emotional impact on you?
In what specific ways would you want to be supported and how can you ask for this from the person(s) who you need to provide it? For example, how would you ask someone to help you with walking the dog?
If you were to ask someone for help/support, how specific do you need to be in order to get the help/support you need?
What is it like for you when a close friend or family member seek your help/support? Do you have the same beliefs that you project others may feel toward you if you are the one in need? Why/why not?

Another tip to keep in mind is that the more specific you can be about what you need and for how long, the more empowered you are likely to feel. Opening your heart and mind to let others in can be equally rewarding to you as well as them.

A computer generated response to the statement "Asking for help"

Asking for help can be difficult, but it is an important step in addressing many problems and challenges. Here are a few things to keep in mind when asking for help:

Identify your needs: Before you can ask for help, you need to identify what it is that you need help with. Be specific about your needs and what kind of help you are looking for.
Choose the right person: Consider who is best suited to provide the help you need. This may be a family member, friend, therapist, teacher, mentor, or other professional.
Be honest and direct: Be honest and direct when asking for help. Explain your situation clearly and be specific about what you need.
Be open to different forms of help: Be open to different forms of help, such as advice, support, or practical assistance.
Don't be afraid to ask for help multiple times: If the first person you ask is not able to help, don't be afraid to ask someone else.
Be prepared for rejection: Not everyone will be able or willing to help. Be prepared for the possibility of rejection and don't take it personally.
Be open to feedback: Be open to feedback, even if it is difficult to hear. Remember that the person you are asking for help is trying to be helpful and supportive.

Asking for help can be a difficult step, but it is an important one in addressing many problems and challenges. Remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness and that seeking support is a key aspect of self-care.

Therapy

Therapy, also known as psychotherapy or counseling, is a process in which an individual meets with a trained mental health professional to discuss their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The goal of therapy is to help individuals understand and manage their emotional and mental health, and to improve their overall well-being.

Here are a few types of therapy:

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): This type of therapy focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors.
Talk therapy: This type of therapy involves talking through problems, emotions and behaviors with a therapist, to gain insight and understanding.
Family therapy: This type of therapy involves the family members of the individual in therapy sessions, to help improve communication and resolve conflicts.
Group therapy: This type of therapy involves meeting with a group of people who are dealing with similar issues, to share experiences, insights and support.
Behavior therapy: This type of therapy focuses on changing specific behaviors that are causing problems.
Medication therapy: This type of therapy involves the use of medication to manage mental health conditions.

It's important to note that therapy can be effective for a wide range of mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety, PTSD, addiction, eating disorder, and relationship problems. It's important to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with, and that specializes in your specific issue. It's also important to remember that therapy is a process that requires time, effort, and consistency, but with the right support, individuals can make significant progress in improving their mental health and overall well-being.

Mental Health Counseling

MeMental health counseling, also known as psychotherapy or simply therapy, is a process in which an individual meets with a trained mental health professional to discuss their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The goal of mental health counseling is to help individuals understand and manage their emotional and mental health, and to improve their overall well-being.

Mental health counselors use a variety of therapeutic approaches and techniques to help individuals address their mental health concerns. Some of the different types of mental health counseling include:

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): This type of therapy focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors.
Psychodynamic therapy: This type of therapy focuses on exploring the unconscious mind and past experiences to understand the roots of current problems.
Humanistic therapy: This type of therapy focuses on the individual's unique experience and personal growth.
Solution-focused therapy: This type of therapy focuses on helping individuals identify and achieve specific goals related to their mental health.
Mindfulness-based therapy: This type of therapy focuses on helping individuals develop mindfulness skills to improve their mental health.
Interpersonal therapy: This type of therapy focuses on improving relationships and communication skills to help individuals with their mental health.

It's important to note that mental health counseling can be effective for a wide range of mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, addiction, eating disorder, and relationship problems. It's important to find a counselor that you feel comfortable with, and that specializes in your specific issue. It's also important to remember that therapy is a process that requires time, effort, and consistency, but with the right support, individuals can make significant progress in improving their mental health and overall well-being.

You can self schedule an in-person or virtual therapy session at the Center for Growth by calling (215) 922- LOVE (5683) x 100.

Our Guarantee: If after your first session you are not sold that you are working with the right therapist, do not hesitate to call our intake line at 215 922 5683 x 100 or Alex at (267) 324-9564 and ask to be rescheduled with another therapist. The choice of how you want to proceed is yours. Our only goal is to support you in becoming the best you possible.

For your convenience, we have brick and mortar offices and work with clients virtually in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

Physical Therapy Office Locations:

Ocean City Therapy Office 360 West Ave, Floor 1, Ocean City, NJ 08226
Mechanicsville Therapy Office 9044 Mann Drive, Mechanicsville Virginia, 23116
Society Hill Therapy Office 233 S. 6th Street, C-33, Philadelphia PA 19106
Art Museum / Fairmount Therapy Office 2401 Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 1a2, Philadelphia PA 19130
Providence Therapy Office 173 Waterman St. Providence, RI 02906
Fayetteville Therapy Office 101 Devant Street #606, Fayetteville GA 30214
Santa Fe Therapy Office, 2204 B Brothers Road, Santa Fe, New Mexico, 87505
Telemedicine Therapy Locations: We have therapists who are licensed to work in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania and Virginia and Pennsylvania