How To Feel Safe in Your Body

How To Feel Safe In Your Body

Human beings have a fundamental need for safety. When our bodies find themselves in situations where they feel threatened, or in a mental state where danger feels imminent, our bodies react by increasing cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, high levels of cortisol and adrenaline within our systems can be linked to anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders. Physical ailments such as fatigue, migraines, weight gain and loss, increased blood pressure, and more can also be present.

Emotionally, we may resort to maladaptive coping mechanisms to compensate for the lack of safety. Short term, maladaptive coping can help us feel safe in our bodies by providing temporary relief to unwanted thoughts or feelings. In the long term, maladaptive coping may cause us to isolate, affect our relationships, and cause us to feel fearful.

There are a myriad of reasons why someone may not feel safe in their body, ranging from low self-esteem to physical and emotional trauma. The good news is you have the power to make your body a safe space again.

What It Feels Like

When you are stressed, your body produces and releases adrenaline and cortisol. Cortisol and adrenaline help prepare for and manage stressful situations. When you’re feeling unsafe, you may experience a “fight or flight” response in your body. Adrenaline is a hormone produced in the adrenal gland that helps prepare you for a stressful or dangerous situation by causing more blood to travel to your brain and muscles. Cortisol, also produced in the adrenal gland, follows to keep you on high alert by raising your blood sugar levels to give you energy.

Imagine you are on a rollercoaster and as you come off the ride, heart pounding, someone offers you a cup of sugary black coffee; it’s kind of like that. There are times we find ourselves thankful for this biological evolution that helps keep us away from danger. Other times, feeling unsafe in our bodies can feel like an involuntary amusement ride, topped off with a cup of caffeine that trauma forces us to drink.

How Your Body Remembers Trauma

Imagine you experience an event as a child that was emotionally painful and distressing. The incident stayed with you over the years, but you never fully processed what had happened. When you attempted to talk through it with someone, all that came out was a jumble of words. Worse, the person you tried to talk to dismissed what you were saying, causing you to push the event further down. Years later, you find yourself participating in acts of self-harm, but you’re not exactly sure why. When you get stressed or nervous, you may experience a panic attack (shortness of breath, an accelerated heartbeat, sweating, etc.) as a response to a boss asking to speak about a routine part of your job. In some cases, the trauma may present itself as Functional Neurological Disorder, with symptoms ranging from physical weakness to seizure-like events.

When our bodies behave in this way, it’s trying its best to cope, heal, and survive. The trouble here is that despite the body’s best intention of protecting us, it may exacerbate the pain by making things harder over the course of time.

How To Start the Healing Journey: Physical

The goal when we want to feel safe in our bodies is to identify and maintain a place of physical and mental security and stability. Here are some ways to begin:

Seek Sanctuary

If you find yourself in a physical location where danger is imminent, remove yourself and call 911. If you are not experiencing a life-threatening emergency, reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or colleague who can help you get to a safe space. If you are a victim of domestic violence, sites like https://www.thehotline.org/ can help you identify patterns of abuse, help you create a safety plan, and connect you with resources that will help you find physical spaces where your wellbeing is prioritized. While emotional security is crucial in a journey towards healing, your physical safety comes first. You deserve an environment where you can exist without physical harm.

Eating

Feeling like we are not safe in our bodies can cause us to overeat, undereat, and/or seek foods that can raise the risk for certain diseases over time. When you can, incorporate foods into your diet like vegetables, fruits, beans, nuts, whole grains, and/or lean meats and seafood. This does not mean you cannot have treats; confectionery and other foods can help us experience the sweetness of life. Think of your body as a temple. What would you offer it? As you’re thinking about that, remember to take a sip of water.

Exercise

Many people who feel unsafe in their bodies report experiencing a disconnect from their physical being. Exercise is an amazing way to reestablish a connection to our corporeal selves; take this as an opportunity to go for a walk or a run outdoors. Try a new yoga class to get grounded, or look up beginner poses online. If the word exercise feels daunting to you, you’re not alone. Find a term you feel comfortable with; it can be something as simple as “I want to move my body”. Moving your body can look like taking a walk around your house, gardening, dancing to a song you like, or even geocaching.

Clothes as Armor

Is there a shirt in your closet that makes you feel good? Or maybe a pair of pants that makes you feel good? Put them on. You don’t need a reason to wear something that makes you feel appreciative of the body you’re in. Similarly, if there are clothes you know make you feel bad, it may be time to donate them. If you have an article of clothing that triggers thought or feeling, repurpose it into cleaning rags, craft supplies, or chuck it. Dressing our bodies can be a form of protection or sacrament, the same way a motorcyclist dons a leather jacket before a ride, or the way a priest wears a robe. Clothes are for survival against the elements, yes, but they are also a way to make your body a home.

Don’t Forget To

Breathe! When you’re feeling unsafe in your body, you may forget the simple and profound act of breathing. Breathing can help us by “bring our mind home to our bodies”, and for some, breathing can serve as a testament to our resilience. Explore breathing exercises meant to help promote feeling safe within yourself, such as root lock breath or box breathing. You can even hum. However you do it, just take a breath.

How To Start the Healing Journey: Your Mind

Your body is made up of energy, and what you see every day is a physical embodiment of this life force. When our physical and spiritual selves are balanced, the relationship with ourselves and others becomes a place of solace and belonging. When we are feeling psychologically unsafe, our emotional, mental, and spiritual needs take a back burner, causing us to feel fearful, sad, and dysregulated.

Feel What You Feel

Acknowledging your feelings is a fundamental step in feeling safe in your body. By recognizing and validating your emotions, you are telling yourself that whatever you are experiencing is real and worthy of genuine concern. Feeling what you feel does not require the approval of others, though seeking support in a friend, family member, or a mental health professional can help offer perspective, advice, and feelings of validation.

Encourage Positive Self Talk

“I think I can, I think I can...” there is a reason the beloved train in The Little Engine That Could was able to overcome the doubts that prevented him from succeeding. The use of positive self-talk is universally known because it is effective in promoting feelings of safety and stability.

In Hinduism, for example, chanting “LAM” creates a frequency that is said to resonate with the root chakra, aiming to eliminate feelings of fear, promoting connection and grounding. In a similar fashion, repeating an affirmation such as “I am safe in my body” can have a similar effect of promoting stability within us. Affirmations can be customized to suit your needs; some other affirmations used for feeling safe in your body can look like “I am loved,” “I have everything I need,” or “I am worthy of respect.”

Finding a Therapist to help you feel safe in your body

Feeling safe in our bodies is a journey. For those who have experienced trauma, feeling safe takes time. Many people find that having someone to talk to, such as a mental health professional, can help process difficult feelings and emotions in a space that promotes nonjudgement and inclusivity. A therapist can help you to identify triggers that make you feel unsafe in your body, explore healthier ways to cope with unresolved feelings in the body and mind, and to focus on your strengths. If you'd like to talk to a therapist, you can call (215) 922-LOVE (5683) ext 100 to be connected with the intake department at The Center for Growth, where a trained professional can help you on your way.

You can self schedule an in-person or virtual therapy session to work on feeling safe in your body at the Center for Growth by calling (215) 922-5683 x 100.

Our Guarantee: If after your first session you are not sold that you are working with the right therapist, do not hesitate to call our intake line at 215 922 5683 x 100 or Alex at (267) 324-9564 and ask to be rescheduled with another therapist. The choice of how you want to proceed is yours. Our only goal is to support you in becoming the best you possible.

For your convenience, we have brick and mortar offices and work with clients virtually in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

Physical Therapy Office Locations:

Ocean City Therapy Office 360 West Ave, Floor 1, Ocean City, NJ 08226
Mechanicsville Therapy Office 9044 Mann Drive, Mechanicsville Virginia, 23116
Society Hill Therapy Office 233 S. 6th Street, C-33, Philadelphia PA 19106
Art Museum / Fairmount Therapy Office 2401 Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 1a2, Philadelphia PA 19130
Providence Therapy Office 173 Waterman St. Providence, RI 02906
Fayetteville Therapy Office 101 Devant Street #606, Fayetteville GA 30214
Santa Fe Therapy Office, 2204 B Brothers Road, Santa Fe, New Mexico, 87505
Telemedicine Therapy Locations: We have therapists who are licensed to work in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania and Virginia and Pennsylvania