Sometimes seeing the same therapist for long periods of time can begin to feel unhelpful, stale, or create feelings of being stuck despite having a good working relationship with your therapist. This can especially be true if you are still wrestling with the same issues and not noticing any movement toward your goals. If this situation sounds familiar to you, there may be some ways to improve your therapy experience without feeling a need to change clinicians or drop out of therapy all together. Communicating about your wants and needs to your therapist is one of the keys to changing this pattern.
Today, having a therapist is as routine as having a doctor or dentist. Once you find the right person who you connect with, it is hard to give them up and feel like you need to rehash your history all over again with somebody new, not to mention feeling a sense of loyalty to your clinician. It has been well founded that the most important variable in effective therapy is the therapeutic relationship. Instead of feeling stuck in your therapy and risking finding someone else who you may not connect as well with, consider the following factors that can improve your therapy experience.
First, it is most important to be able to voice your concerns directly to your therapist. After all, not only are you paying them to listen to you, but you have a trusted connection with the person in the room who you can practice asserting your needs with. Unlike our family members and friends, a healthy therapist will attune to your feelings supportively. I like to think of therapy as a “learning lab” to take interpersonal risks that can then be applied to your outside relationships. For example, suppose you are feeling bored in your romantic relationship, but have a lot of fear that if you talk about it then the person will get mad or break up with you. In the context of effective therapy, taking the same interpersonal risk along with working through the same beliefs and feelings, can lead to a corrective emotional experience that can help increase your confidence to do the same work outside of therapy.
Second, make sure to communicate what you are looking for from your therapist which will also help improve your therapy experience. For instance, when clients first enter therapy, some may be looking for a certain level of support or therapeutic approach. As they begin to feel better about the situations that brought them in, they may desire a different therapeutic style that may not always be clear to the therapist themselves. For example, if you have been working with a therapist who tends to lean toward cognitive interventions (i.e. helping you dispute distorted beliefs and behaviors), you may be feeling stuck emotionally and may benefit from a more experiential therapeutic approach (i.e. one that focuses more on emotions and experiences in the therapeutic space).
Third, after having voiced and communicated your concerns to your therapist, be open-minded to trying new behaviors or taking on a changed mindset that may help you be able to see your problems from a different perspective. This could include sincerely applying new actions or thought processes that are suggested by your therapist or allowing your therapist to help stretch your comfort level within the session by being more open to new therapeutic techniques. An example of this could be your therapist suggesting a more emotionally vulnerable exercise such as a role play while in session. Instead of resisting it because of fearing you may look silly or cry, you can go with it as an “experiment” to see if it may be helpful.
A fourth factor to consider in attempting to improve your therapy experience, is to take an honest look at yourself and your motivation to change. It is not uncommon when a client is feeling stuck to “blame” the therapist. Like any other relationship, you own at least half of the responsibility in staying stuck or moving forward. Consider the following questions as an exercise to help you gain more clarity about your own side of the change process:
- How are you sincerely practicing and applying suggested behaviors or thought processes outside of the therapeutic sessions?
- When you are coming to therapy, do you prepare what you want to talk about or work on or do you allow the conversation to divert to other subjects that are not as important or uncomfortable to talk about?
- How defensive or resistant are you to trying new things and is this being communicated to your therapist openly? Although this is a normal part of the therapy and change process, it is important to be open about how ready you are to make movement with the issues you are presenting.
- How honest are you being with your therapist about your issues and true feelings? Does your therapist know the whole story or just parts of it?
- What behaviors are you exhibiting in the therapy room that are similar in how you act with other people in your life and is this being talked about with your therapist?
One of the greatest gifts of having a trusted therapist is to allow your true, vulnerable side of yourself to come out and not stay stuck. How you build a relationship with your therapist, how you respond to ideas that are being shared, and the way you communicate feelings and other aspects of your inner self, are all reflective of how you are or could be in your own private relationships which makes coming to therapy and sticking with it a valuable tool! So in conclusion, one of the best ways to improve your therapy experience is to be open, honest, and willing to also improve yourself.
You can self schedule an in-person or virtual therapy session at the Center for Growth by calling (215) 922- LOVE (5683) x 100.
Our Guarantee: If after your first session you are not sold that you are working with the right therapist, do not hesitate to call our intake line at 215 922 5683 x 100 or Alex at (267) 324-9564 and ask to be rescheduled with another therapist. The choice of how you want to proceed is yours. Our only goal is to support you in becoming the best you possible.
For your convenience, we have brick and mortar offices and work with clients virtually in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.
Physical Therapy Office Locations:
Ocean City Therapy Office 360 West Ave, Floor 1, Ocean City, NJ 08226
Mechanicsville Therapy Office 9044 Mann Drive, Mechanicsville Virginia, 23116
Society Hill Therapy Office 233 S. 6th Street, C-33, Philadelphia PA 19106
Art Museum / Fairmount Therapy Office 2401 Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 1a2, Philadelphia PA 19130
Providence Therapy Office 173 Waterman St. Providence, RI 02906
Fayetteville Therapy Office 101 Devant Street #606, Fayetteville GA 30214
Santa Fe Therapy Office, 2204 B Brothers Road, Santa Fe, New Mexico, 87505
Telemedicine Therapy Locations: We have therapists who are licensed to work in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania and Virginia and Pennsylvania
Therapy Services Offered in Fayetteville, Ocean City, Mechanicsville, Philadelphia, Providence, Santa Fe:
Individual Counseling and therapy
Couples Counseling and marriage counseling
Teen Therapy and Adolescent Therapy and tweens and child counseling
Family Therapy and multi-generational counseling
Art Therapy and Counseling no art skills needed
ADHD Therapy and ADD, Dyslexia, Autism, Tourettes counseling
Anxiety, Panic, OCD Therapy and worry and fear support
Breaking the cycle of Codependency and being your own person
Overcoming Chronic Illness and Chronic Pain .
Depression Therapy and sadness, gloom, and upset support
Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) Therapy is a particular style of therapy designed for people with problems affecting their nervous system, how the brain and body send and receive signals.
Grief Therapy and loss, End of A Relationship, rejections, pregnancy and loss and therapy
Mindfulness Based Therapy and spirituality based therapy
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery child of, parent of, spouse of, sibling of a narcissist.
Sex Therapy and sexual function & dysfunction, sex addiction, sexual orientation and gender identity support
Trauma Therapy both emotional and sexual abuse, complex trauma, PTSD counseling
Divorce support
Affairs, Infidelity, Unfaithful, Cheating counseling
Parenting therapy
Personality disorder treatments Narcissist, Borderline, Histrionic
Setting Boundaries and identifying ones own Core Beliefs
Just name some of the Mental Health issues that we work with. Our goal is to help you Change and Achieve Your Dreams
