For parents living in this digital age, most are well aware that children are exposed to a vast array of electronic devices and screens that offer educational, entertainment, and social opportunities. However, while technology can be beneficial, excessive screen time can lead to various adverse effects on a child's physical and mental health. Consequently, as responsible parents and caregivers, it is essential that we implement strategies to effectively monitor and limit children’s screen time since a balanced approach is important for healthy development. Moreover, when our children spend too much time on screens, they can also have shifts in mood, become easily agitated, and even forget to meet their basic needs like forgetting to realize that they are hungry or thirsty. This can make parenting feel overwhelming, which is another reason why it is helpful for both children and caregivers to create healthy screen time boundaries. The Family Screen Time Agreement Activity is designed to bring families together in a collaborative effort, ensuring that everyone is on the same page and working towards a balanced digital life.
Before diving in, let's clarify which activities typically fall under the umbrella of "screen time" usage. Screen time refers to the amount of time spent using a device with a screen, such as a smartphone, tablet, computer, television, or video game console. This includes time spent watching shows or movies, playing games, browsing the internet, using social media, reading, and other digital activities. In other words, when people discuss concerns about screen time, especially in the context of children, they are often referring to recreational or passive consumption activities. Under this framework, screen time would not include using electronic devices for academic (e.g., writing a paper, completing homework) or functional purposes (e.g., Google maps).
Family Screen Time Agreement Activity
Objective: To collaboratively create a "Family Screen Time Agreement" that everyone understands and agrees upon. This activity not only sets guidelines but also encourages open communication. The collaborative nature ensures that children feel involved in the decision-making process, leading to better adherence to the agreement.
Materials Needed:
Large poster board or sheet of paper
Markers or pens
Stickers or stamps (for tracking and rewards)
Printed or written-down information on the recommended screen time for different ages (optional for reference) For example, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) provides detailed guidelines on screen time for children of various age groups:
https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/media-and-children/policies-on-children-and-media/
Steps:
Introduction: Begin by explaining the purpose of the activity - to set clear guidelines for screen time that benefit everyone's well-being.
Educate: Briefly share some facts about the effects of excessive screen time. Explain how excessive screen time can negatively affect their health, sleep, and overall well-being. Sit down with your child and openly discuss the reasons behind the limitations. For younger children, you might want to use simple analogies or stories to make the point. For example, you could make an analogy about how when we eat too much junk food it can make our stomachs hurt, and when we use our devices too much, it can make our brains hurt or not function the way we’d like.
Open Discussion: Ask each family member to share their thoughts about screen time. How much do they think is appropriate? When do they feel they need or want screen time the most?
Set Limits Together: Using the recommended screen time for different ages as a guideline (if you have it), discuss and decide on a daily or weekly limit for each family member. Engage them in the conversation, and together, set reasonable daily or weekly screen time limits that align with their age, schoolwork, and extracurricular activities. Write these limits down on the poster board.
Identify Exceptions: Discuss any potential exceptions, such as using electronics for completing school work, reading books, or playing educational video games. Here are a few examples of items some families might include in the exceptions list:
PBS Kids: Offers educational shows for children that are both entertaining and informative.
National Geographic Kids: Provides videos, games, and articles tailored for a younger audience about nature, science, and culture.
Starfall: Focuses on reading and math for kids in pre-K through third grade.
BrainPOP and BrainPOP Jr.: Feature educational videos and quizzes on a variety of topics.
ABCmouse: Covers a range of subjects for kids aged 2-8.
Adventure Academy: For kids aged 8-13, offers educational games on a wide range of topics.
Khan Academy Kids: Provides free, fun, educational programs for young kids.
Epic!: A digital library for kids up to age 12, offering a vast collection of high-quality children's books.
TumbleBookLibrary: An online collection of animated, talking picture books.
While these resources are promoted as age-appropriate, parental guidance and monitoring remain critical. It's essential for parents to familiarize themselves with the content, ensure it aligns with their values, and regularly engage with their kids about their online experiences since the internet is vast and children can end up engaging with content that you may feel is inappropriate if you are not regularly monitoring their usage.
Establish Reward Systems: Consider setting up a reward system for sticking to the agreement, such as earning stickers or stamps for each day the limits are followed.
Incorporate Breaks: Discuss the importance of taking breaks if using screens for extended periods. Maybe decide on a specific duration (e.g., a 5-minute break every hour). Consider having a set time, at least two hours before bed, when all screen time stops, and the family collectively reads for at least 30 minutes. Build routines like this into your nightly rituals when your children are young which will create buy-in that lasts for many years.
Implement Tech-Free Days and/or Vacations: Designate certain days of the week or certain events as "tech-free" days for the entire family. These days can be spent exploring the outdoors, visiting museums, or engaging in other activities that don't involve screens. By collectively embracing these days, you instill a sense of togetherness and reinforce the importance of balance in life. Or, if tech-free days feel impossible to achieve, set aside tech-free hours or even events like vacations. For example, try your best to implement a policy of no screens while on vacation and stick to it year in and year out. You will be surprised how disconnecting from screens can lead to reconnecting with family and the larger world.
List Alternatives: Create a list of fun activities to do when not on screens. This is sooo important! Foster your child's interests in various activities outside of screen time. Engage them in sports, arts, music, or other hobbies that will help them develop new skills and socialize with peers in person. A balanced schedule will reduce their reliance on screens and promote overall well-rounded development.
Encourage reading as an alternative to screen time. Promote a love for reading by having a wide range of age-appropriate books available at home. Encourage regular reading time for your child, as it can be an excellent alternative to screen-related activities and can significantly benefit their cognitive development.
Create a Screen-Free Zone: Designate specific areas in your home as screen-free zones, such as the dining table, bedrooms, and study areas. By doing so, you promote healthier habits and ensure that screens do not interfere with essential aspects of their lives, such as sleep and studying. For example, if your kids' study area is in the same place that they play video games, you’ll have to switch it up. Create a space in their bedroom(s) or in a dining area or other areas within your home or apartment where they can designate their time to be productive.
Sign the Agreement: Once everything is discussed and written down, have each family member "sign" the agreement on the poster board as a commitment to follow through.
Display & Track: Place the agreement in a common area where everyone can see it daily. Use stickers or stamps to track adherence to the screen time limits.
Review & Adjust: Set a date (maybe a month later) to review the agreement. Discuss what's working and what's not, and adjust the guidelines if necessary. Regularly monitor your child's screen time habits and adjust the limits if necessary. As your child grows older, their needs and responsibilities may change, so be flexible in adapting the guidelines accordingly. Also, recognize that screens have many benefits. Even playing video games has been shown to increase motor skills, such as hand and eye coordination, and many video games also incorporate reading and writing into the gameplay experience. Screen time can be incredibly beneficial to our children as long as it is used in moderation.
Here are a few special topics for parents to consider when implementing the family screen time agreement activity:
Be a Role Model: That's right parents! Children often learn by observing us. That is why it is so important to be a positive role model and demonstrate responsible screen time habits. Limit your own screen usage when around your children and show them how to balance technology with other activities. Encourage family time without screens, such as engaging in outdoor activities, reading together, or playing board games. You’ll have to step out of your comfort zone and sacrifice some of your own screen time rituals. Zoning out on your phone is something parents should be particularly mindful of and try to avoid. When your kiddos see you doing this they feel entitled to do the same! Are they wrong to feel this way? Nope. And if you know this is a challenge for you, consider asking other parents and/or adults in your life to help hold you accountable, or even agree to hold each other accountable. Most of us could do with a little less screen time in our lives, if we are truly being honest with ourselves.
Don’t Rely on Screens as a Babysitter. This one is tough because we’ve all seen it and done it. Maybe you are at a restaurant waiting on your child’s meal, and as your child starts to have a temper tantrum, you quickly pass them the phone or tablet to occupy them and avoid a scene. Or maybe you want some quiet time at home after a long day at work, so you set your child up on the computer to play games or watch YouTube while you unwind. We have all relied on screens to entertain our children when we were preoccupied with other things, but this can lead to excessive screen time for your child and/or an overreliance on screens for behavior management. To create a more balanced approach, consider packing books, drawing materials, and puzzles with you when you go out to eat or will be away from home with your child for a while. Keep games like Mad Libs in the car, and remember that some fun games like “I spy with my little eye…” can provide endless entertainment and bonding time for you and your children.
Be Mindful of Content for Young Children: Be vigilant about the content your child consumes online. Encourage age-appropriate and educational content, and guide them toward reputable websites and apps. Remember that many websites use algorithms to keep showing you more of the same content that you click on. Educate your children about how these algorithms work and why it is important to be wary of getting sucked into endless mindless content. Those cute cat videos are fun, but we shouldn’t spend hours of our day watching them!
Also teach your child how to identify inappropriate or harmful communication with strangers in online chats, or consider eliminating your child’s use of chats altogether. On some websites, such as Roblox, you can control your child’s settings so that they cannot engage in private messages with any strangers. However, they can still chat with strangers when playing games within the game chat, so if you allow your child to play video games on a server with others, be sure that you teach them when and how to inform you of inappropriate communication.
In today's digitally charged world, fostering a healthy relationship with screens is vital for every family member's well-being. The Family Screen Time Agreement Activity not only provides a structured approach to achieve this balance but also encourages open dialogue, understanding, and collaboration among family members. By actively participating and setting mutual boundaries, families can enjoy the advantages of the digital age without compromising their health and interpersonal relationships. As you move forward, remember that the key is adaptability and consistent communication. Revisit your agreement as needed, and ensure it evolves with your family's changing dynamics and needs. Embrace technology, but always prioritize genuine, unfiltered moments with your loved ones.
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Dan, please do not hesitate to reject or challenge any of these suggestions. I wanted to retweak it for you to make it as easy as possible and to get this posted ASAP. In the future, I hope to give you feedback on earlier drafts so that we can collaborate together on how best to showcase your clinical skills.
