Shifting Gender Identity

Shifting Gender Identity: Therapy in Philadelphia, Ocean City, Mechancsville, Santa Fe

Do you feel your gender pulling you in a new direction lately? Sometimes it moves around and is hard to catch, pin down, and understand what it’s telling you. Gender identity work is tricky. Gender can change and morph constantly, suddenly, drastically. (It’s called work for a reason!) This time of inner reflection and exploration, if you choose to take it, can look wildly different for different people. This article is an example of one perspective and is in no way meant to be prescriptive!

There are as many different genders as there are people on the planet. You are not wrong. You’re not wrong because there is no right. There is you.

Gender is what we call a social construct- our culture as a whole determines what is acceptable for a “boy” and for a “girl” to wear, act, think, speak, groom, etc. Typically, there is an inherent understanding of social and cultural norms in the location and culture we grew up in. In other words, we perform gender. Constantly. It’s how we know that “boys” are supposed to wear blue and “girls” should wear pink. Even if you’re a boy that likes pink- it’s likely ingrained from a young age that there is something wrong with that. Conversely, we often assume that if a person is a race car driver for a living, for example, that means that person is a man. If a nurse is the subject of a story you hear, you might instinctively picture a woman.

Basically, we get told who we are when we are born. That’s why you might hear the phrase “Assigned female/male at birth.” The point being, it is given. It is assigned to us like a homework assignment that we are left to complete based on the instructions society gives us about who we are supposed to be. Lots of times it turns out to be a nonconsensual gift! The earth-shattering part is that it doesn’t have to be that way! We can choose not to run with the herd. We can decide that a different way works better for us, that there are (many) other possibilities. Do you sense that fluidity about yourself? What is within your realm of possibility? Are you willing to consider the possibility that you might not want to follow the instructions?

It can be really fun to explore! Buy a new pair of undies. Have (alone) naked time! Make a vision board on identity. Take a dance class. Go into a new section of your favorite clothing store. Take notice of how being around other people might make you interact with your gender (and the world) differently. You are the person that knows you the best. Trust that. There is no wrong answer.

Sometimes, it's helpful to figure out who we are not before we can figure out who we are. Never underestimate the power of a feeling wheel!

Thought experiment: if you could perform a miracle and make yourself look and feel exactly like you want to, what does that look like? How would it be dis/similar to how you currently perform gender? How does it fit into who you believe yourself to be? How does this new identity make you feel about yourself? How would that change the narrative you tell yourself about who you are?

Now, draw it. Try to get your hands on some of that giant paper on a scroll you used in kindergarten and draw the outline of your body. Color it in. What parts are what colors? Are there shapes inside your body? What textures? Designs? Doodles? Or draw it on a napkin with a pen- whatever moves you! Know that you cannot do your gender wrong.

It is important to note that identity work can be destabilizing. Make sure to take extra special care of yourself during the process. This tip is meant for the body-curious. Make sure you have a support system in place in case your head starts to spin. If you start to feel anxious, shaky, feeling nervous or activated, feeling your chest get heavy and tight, you may be heading toward a panic attack. It is a good idea to let those thoughts lie, and come back to them another time.

If you feel like it's hard to escape society’s incessant messages about gender; you’re not wrong! It’s everywhere and it can be exhausting! Nurture yourself. Take a bubble bath. Each chocolate. Call a friend. Take a walk. Hug your pet.

Please also refrain from doing challenging feelings work without a support system that you can lean on, even if it is without sharing any details. Working with an affirming therapist can help level your footing by helping to handle the hard parts and celebrate the great parts of your journey. Affirming Support groups are other great tools to utilize. If you find yourself alone and needing someone to talk to, The Trevor Project is an amazing organization that is open 24/7 for calls, texts, and chatting. Feel good about exploring who you are. Stay safe and take good care of yourself when you're doing a deep dive into your authentic self.

You can self schedule an in-person or virtual therapy session at the Center for Growth by calling (215) 922- LOVE (5683) x 100.

Our Guarantee: If after your first session you are not sold that you are working with the right therapist, do not hesitate to call our intake line at 215 922 5683 x 100 or Alex at (267) 324-9564 and ask to be rescheduled with another therapist. The choice of how you want to proceed is yours. Our only goal is to support you in becoming the best you possible.

For your convenience, we have brick and mortar offices and work with clients virtually in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.

Physical Therapy Office Locations:

Ocean City Therapy Office 360 West Ave, Floor 1, Ocean City, NJ 08226
Mechanicsville Therapy Office 9044 Mann Drive, Mechanicsville Virginia, 23116
Society Hill Therapy Office 233 S. 6th Street, C-33, Philadelphia PA 19106
Art Museum / Fairmount Therapy Office 2401 Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 1a2, Philadelphia PA 19130
Providence Therapy Office 173 Waterman St. Providence, RI 02906
Fayetteville Therapy Office 101 Devant Street #606, Fayetteville GA 30214
Santa Fe Therapy Office, 2204 B Brothers Road, Santa Fe, New Mexico, 87505
Telemedicine Therapy Locations: We have therapists who are licensed to work in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania and Virginia and Pennsylvania