Trauma often robs us of the feeling that we are in charge of our lives. It can make us question the world and feel out of control in relation to our mind, body and emotions. Nobody can remove the trauma from our past but we can learn how to deal with and manage the imprint that it has left on our lives. The first challenge in our recovery is to reestablish ownership of our mind and body, of our self. What this means is our ability to know what we know and to feel what we feel without becoming overwhelmed, ashamed, enraged, or broken down. In this article, we will discuss important information about what is happening to us during these intense moments that do not line up with our current reality so that we can make sense out of what feels confusing and possibly senseless. We will also discuss the first step towards taking back control over our lives, becoming calm and focused and learning to maintain that calmness in response to disturbing thoughts, images, sounds, and physical sensations that remind us of our past.
Trauma is more than the story of what happened to us in the past. Trauma is also the emotions and physical sensations that were engraved in us during traumatic moments that we experience as disruptive physical reactions in the present. To understand more about trauma and how it impacts us take a look at our articles on trauma such as What is Trauma? and Complex Trauma: What is it? In order to regain control over our trauma symptoms, it is encouraged to revisit our traumas and confront what happened to us with a mental health professional. By learning how to feel safe within ourselves again, it allows us to retell our story in a way that doesn’t retraumatize us. To start the process, we first must find ways to cope with intense feelings, such as being overwhelmed by the sensations and emotions associated with our past.
This brings up another fundamental issue when trying to maintain a calm state, restoring the proper balance between our emotional and rational brains so that we can feel in charge of how we respond and how we live our lives. When we are triggered, we can enter a state of hyperarousal (i.e. reactive and disorganized, unwanted thoughts or images can intrude our minds, we can panic or fly into a rage) or hyoparousal (i.e. we shut down, feel numb, become sluggish, trouble getting out of bed) and we are pushed out of our normal state of being. Our emotional brain reacts to our body’s alarm system, or limbic system, which is what triggers our “flight or fight '' response to what it deems as dangerous situations. When we experience trauma our alarm system may become faulty resulting in it reacting to things that we have associated with our trauma, even if unconsciously, as dangerous. If we want to change our post traumatic reactions, then we must repair this faulty alarm system so that our emotional brain can go back to quietly doing its ordinary job. This means, in order to change how we feel, we must become aware of our inner experiences and learn to befriend what is going on inside ourselves so that we can retrain our alarm systems.
An essential tool to recovery and retraining our limbic system is learning how to breathe calmly and remaining in a state of relative physical relaxation while accessing painful or horrifying memories. When we consciously take a few slow, deep breaths; it decreases our arousal and helps our limbic system to return to normal functioning. This principle has been utilized for thousands of years and can be evident in ancient china and India and in most religious or spiritual practices. The more that we are able to focus on our breathing, noticing the air moving in and out of our lungs, the more benefit we will experience and our ability to control our arousal, both emotionally and physically, increase. If we think about the role that oxygen plays in energizing our bodies, we can imagine as we breathe in the oxygen nourishing our body, our cells, our tissue, our muscles until we feel our bodies relax with each breath. For more in depth instructions and details on different breathing exercises please check out our other articles that focus on different techniques such as Color Breathing, 4-7-8 Breathing, and Releasing Anxiety through the Body.
Once we can master going into a calm state, then we can focus on maintaining this calmness when we are experiencing the seemingly unbearable sensations of our traumatic responses. Avoiding these unpleasant sensations only serve to make us more vulnerable to being overcome by them. By practicing self-awareness we can start to notice what triggers us by simply identifying our nervousness, anxieties, or negative feelings as they arise. Simply noticing these things can help us to change our perspective and provide different options other than our automatic reactions. Mindfulness helps us to identify how transient or temporary, our feelings and perceptions can be. By recognizing the ebbs and flow of our emotions and paying focused attention on our bodily sensations, we can increase our control over them.
People who have been traumatized often can feel afraid of feeling. We may be nervous of being hijacked by intense emotions or feel like we may lose control. Our emotional brain keeps generating these types of sensations that leave us feeling scared and helpless even though the trauma is a thing of the past. In order to change this reaction, first, open yourself up to your inner experiences through self-awareness and mindfulness. This is simply being aware of how you react to things and being mindful about what feelings are being brought up for you. Next, notice how physical sensations change and shift depending on many factors such as moving your body position, adjusting your breathing, or shifting your thinking. Then label them, such as “when I feel anxious, I feel a restricting tightness in my chest.” Now, see how that sensation changes as you take a deep breath or tap some were on your body. Practicing mindfulness helps us to calm down so that you are less likely to enter a fight or flight state. If you are unable to tolerate the feelings that you are experiencing in the present then opening up about the past may only serve to retraumatize you and increase your suffering in the moment. We can handle a great deal of distress if we remember that sensations are always shifting. Mindfulness has been shown to have positive effects on both mental and physical health including stress-related symptoms, depression, blood pressure, and immune system response.
Reestablishing ownership of our mind and body can be challenging but is possible. By identifying how we are triggered and becoming aware of what is happening in our minds and bodies, we increase our ability to control our reactions and, in essence, begin to correct the faulty alarm system that our trauma has impacted and made us feel like it has gone awry. Through different calming exercises, such as breathing exercises, we grow our ability to deactivate ourselves, both mentally and physically, which allows us to intentionally go into a state of calmness. This skill is vital in bringing us back to our normal state and having more control over our own reactions and, thus, decreasing activation of our “fight or flight” response. When we feel like we have more control over ourselves and our reactions, it allows us to feel more secure and have the ability to process our past in a safer manner.
This article does not replace seeking professional help and if you are struggling to overcome your past trauma we urge you to schedule a session with a therapist you feel comfortable with. No one deserves to stay painfully in the shadows of their past and it takes a brave person to walk into the therapy office to confront this pain. Choose to take back control of your life today.
You can self schedule an in-person or virtual therapy session at the Center for Growth by calling (215) 922- LOVE (5683) x 100.
Our Guarantee: If after your first session you are not sold that you are working with the right therapist, do not hesitate to call our intake line at 215 922 5683 x 100 or Alex at (267) 324-9564 and ask to be rescheduled with another therapist. The choice of how you want to proceed is yours. Our only goal is to support you in becoming the best you possible.
For your convenience, we have brick and mortar offices and work with clients virtually in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.
Physical Therapy Office Locations:
Ocean City Therapy Office 360 West Ave, Floor 1, Ocean City, NJ 08226
Mechanicsville Therapy Office 9044 Mann Drive, Mechanicsville Virginia, 23116
Society Hill Therapy Office 233 S. 6th Street, C-33, Philadelphia PA 19106
Art Museum / Fairmount Therapy Office 2401 Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 1a2, Philadelphia PA 19130
Providence Therapy Office 173 Waterman St. Providence, RI 02906
Fayetteville Therapy Office 101 Devant Street #606, Fayetteville GA 30214
Santa Fe Therapy Office, 2204 B Brothers Road, Santa Fe, New Mexico, 87505
Telemedicine Therapy Locations: We have therapists who are licensed to work in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania and Virginia and Pennsylvania
Therapy Services Offered in Fayetteville, Ocean City, Mechanicsville, Philadelphia, Providence, Santa Fe:
Individual Counseling and therapy
Couples Counseling and marriage counseling
Teen Therapy and Adolescent Therapy and tweens and child counseling
Family Therapy and multi-generational counseling
Art Therapy and Counseling no art skills needed
ADHD Therapy and ADD, Dyslexia, Autism, Tourettes counseling
Anxiety, Panic, OCD Therapy and worry and fear support
Breaking the cycle of Codependency and being your own person
Overcoming Chronic Illness and Chronic Pain .
Depression Therapy and sadness, gloom, and upset support
Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) Therapy is a particular style of therapy designed for people with problems affecting their nervous system, how the brain and body send and receive signals.
Grief Therapy and loss, End of A Relationship, rejections, pregnancy and loss and therapy
Mindfulness Based Therapy and spirituality based therapy
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery child of, parent of, spouse of, sibling of a narcissist.
Sex Therapy and sexual function & dysfunction, sex addiction, sexual orientation and gender identity support
Trauma Therapy both emotional and sexual abuse, complex trauma, PTSD counseling
Divorce support
Affairs, Infidelity, Unfaithful, Cheating counseling
Parenting therapy
Personality disorder treatments Narcissist, Borderline, Histrionic
Setting Boundaries and identifying ones own Core Beliefs
Just name some of the Mental Health issues that we work with. Our goal is to help you Change and Achieve Your Dreams
