Deciding to go to couples counseling can be a difficult decision. In fact, most couples put off going to couples counseling, either because they want to avoid further conflict, or they don’t want to spend the time or money. This often means that by the time you’ve decided to go to couples counseling, you really need it. It also means that it’s really important to choose a couples therapist that’s going to be a good fit for you and your relationship. If you’ve decided to begin couples counseling, and want to make sure you get the most out of your couples counselor, here are three things to keep in mind.
Ask about their training in couples counseling
Most therapists will list their credentials, as well as an specialized certifications on their website. Give yourself a gift by screening for therapists that specialize in couples counseling specifically. You may not know that while any licensed therapist can technically offer couples counseling, not all therapists are specifically trained in it. Look either for where a therapist did their training or specific post-masters certifications: Marriage and Family Therapy, Imago Therapy, Gottman-style, or Emotionally Focused Therapy. This list of post-masters certifications are by no means exhaustive. If you and your partner are experiencing any kind of sexual intimacy issues, therapists certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators and Therapists (AASECT) can also be helpful. A simple google search for any of the certifications listed on a therapist’s website can provide you with useful information on their background and the approach they use with couples.
See how much the couples counselors cost
Health care should be a right, and not a privilege, but unfortunately in the US that is not the case. If you have health insurance, you can go to your provider’s website to see what couples counselors are covered. You may find that your insurance provider will not cover couples counseling specifically, so make sure to ask your potential couples counselor on the phone how they typically handle insurance. If you don’t have health insurance, you can go online and find some amazing fee for service couples counselors.
During your intake, take note of how they relate to you and your partner
A couples counselor, no matter what you might wish, is not a judge. They are not there to hear both sides of the story and tell you who is right. Couples counselors should help you and your partner to listen to each other, share information and feelings honestly, and identify common negative patterns the two of you fall into. The goal is to teach the two of you better communication skills so that you can resolve issues on your own. A skilled couples counselor won’t tell you who is right or wrong, they may simply help the two of you see the situation from a different perspective and give you some new tools to help the two of you resolve the conflict in a more constructive manner.
During your initial session, or intake, the couples counselor will ask you and your partner about why you are coming in. Notice how it feels to share with them. Do you and your partner feel like you’re getting equal time to speak and balanced feedback? What’s their policy on seeing the two of you individually? Will the couples counselor hold secrets? And if so, what type of secrets? Do you both feel respected? If not, this might not be the best fit for you. Not all couples counselors are the same. Typically, we recommend trying several people and then making an educated guess. If someone says something you don’t like, it might be them. If three therapists are say the same thing, then it’s you!
Do you like the couples counselor? Does your partner?
Both you and your partner should intuitively trust your therapist and feel respected by them. You don’t need to become friends with them, but if you don’t like what comes out of their mouth, it will probably be difficult for you to be vulnerable enough in session to do the work you came to do. If either of you feel like it’s not a good fit, look for another therapist. It can be frustrating to tell your story all over again to someone else, but it’s harder still for good work to get done if one of you doesn’t trust the therapist enough to be honest during session.
If you don’t get along with your therapist, that’s ok. Finding a good couples counselor is all about fit, and good counselors know this. If you are with a good counselor, their feelings won’t be hurt, when you ask for a referral.
Above all else, remember that you deserve the best care possible. Making an appointment with a therapist in a group practice, if possible, can be a great way to ensure that there is a pool of similarly trained therapists if the first one is not a good fit.
You can self schedule an in-person or virtual therapy session at the Center for Growth by calling (215) 922- LOVE (5683) x 100.
Our Guarantee: If after your first session you are not sold that you are working with the right therapist, do not hesitate to call our intake line at 215 922 5683 x 100 or Alex at (267) 324-9564 and ask to be rescheduled with another therapist. The choice of how you want to proceed is yours. Our only goal is to support you in becoming the best you possible.
For your convenience, we have brick and mortar offices and work with clients virtually in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.
Physical Therapy Office Locations:
Ocean City Therapy Office 360 West Ave, Floor 1, Ocean City, NJ 08226
Mechanicsville Therapy Office 9044 Mann Drive, Mechanicsville Virginia, 23116
Society Hill Therapy Office 233 S. 6th Street, C-33, Philadelphia PA 19106
Art Museum / Fairmount Therapy Office 2401 Pennsylvania Ave, Suite 1a2, Philadelphia PA 19130
Providence Therapy Office 173 Waterman St. Providence, RI 02906
Fayetteville Therapy Office 101 Devant Street #606, Fayetteville GA 30214
Santa Fe Therapy Office, 2204 B Brothers Road, Santa Fe, New Mexico, 87505
Telemedicine Therapy Locations: We have therapists who are licensed to work in Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, New Jersey, New Mexico, Pennsylvania and Virginia and Pennsylvania
Therapy Services Offered in Fayetteville, Ocean City, Mechanicsville, Philadelphia, Providence, Santa Fe:
Individual Counseling and therapy
Couples Counseling and marriage counseling
Teen Therapy and Adolescent Therapy and tweens and child counseling
Family Therapy and multi-generational counseling
Art Therapy and Counseling no art skills needed
ADHD Therapy and ADD, Dyslexia, Autism, Tourettes counseling
Anxiety, Panic, OCD Therapy and worry and fear support
Breaking the cycle of Codependency and being your own person
Overcoming Chronic Illness and Chronic Pain .
Depression Therapy and sadness, gloom, and upset support
Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) Therapy is a particular style of therapy designed for people with problems affecting their nervous system, how the brain and body send and receive signals.
Grief Therapy and loss, End of A Relationship, rejections, pregnancy and loss and therapy
Mindfulness Based Therapy and spirituality based therapy
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery child of, parent of, spouse of, sibling of a narcissist.
Sex Therapy and sexual function & dysfunction, sex addiction, sexual orientation and gender identity support
Trauma Therapy both emotional and sexual abuse, complex trauma, PTSD counseling
Divorce support
Affairs, Infidelity, Unfaithful, Cheating counseling
Parenting therapy
Personality disorder treatments Narcissist, Borderline, Histrionic
Setting Boundaries and identifying ones own Core Beliefs
Just name some of the Mental Health issues that we work with. Our goal is to help you Change and Achieve Your Dreams
